Daniel

Mood

Daniel has been living in the Netherlands for 5 years now.

A little background on Daniel. He is our eldest. He came into this world the most easy going child that you could ever be blessed with. A model child, sleeping through like a text book baby. His milestones were equally on target, although he was in no hurry to walk. He was a serious baby, happy to watch and take everything in. An observer from day one.

As he grew, we noticed not only was he easy going, but he was popular with his peers. His friends would wait for him at the gates of his nursery school. As we arrived and unbuckled him out of his car seat, he would jump out and happily walk into school non fazed by his little fan base. Life was fun, light and happy around him. He had the incredible ability to dodge any conflict or drama. He took everything in his stride, from starting pre school, to the arrival of Alexander 2 years later, not a tantrum or tears.

At about 2 he began showing an interest in the girls more than the boys. He adored dressing up, the more grandiose the better. His favourite were wigs, swishing around with long locks and if they were blond, well bonus. His dream was to become Ariel from The Little Mermaid. We thought it might just be a phase, but the desire was far stronger and he remained connected to the girls and dressing up. The boys would cling to a little bit of time with Daniel, but he was not interested in lego, building and rough play.

Daniel at 2

Off he went to pre-primary and primary school, in that time his youngest brother came along, Oliver. Daniel welcomed Oli, like he had welcomed Alexander, with interest and love and gentleness. I would often find Daniel winding up Oli’s mobile whilst he lay in his cot, singing to him. Daniel took on his role as the eldest in his stride. He was not only easy going, but he was brave too. Alexander relied on this for many years as they grew up. Daniel was daring and outgoing, Alexander was comfortable allowing Daniel to take the lead.

The laughter continued, Daniel always knew how to make his brothers laugh. Particularly Alexander. He initiated the games they played, whether it was fun in the pool, dress up or playmobil. As he got older, he became a little bit more intolerant of his brothers. They could be embarassing trying hard to get some recognition and acceptance when his girlfriends came around to play.

One of my favourite photos of Daniel at 4 years old

Daniel was adventurous and could be a dare devil too. He would think nothing of jumping into the sea and swimming to the back line. He had no fear of waves, currents or sharks. Likewise, he would climb up trees as high as he could or figure out a way to get onto the roof of our house.

Why Daniel, I would say, imagining how dangerous it could be if he were to fall.

I don't know, I just like the feeling of being way up high, he'd respond.

Aside from his love for Ariel and dressing up, Daniel spent his time drawing and doodling. He was equally expressive and verbal, but school was a struggle. He found it hard to focus on the subjects he wasn’t interested in, oh his mother’s genes poor boy, so off he went for OT to help with his fine motor skills, a bit of speech therapy, some physio to work on his core etc as they do these days. Diagnosed with ADHD, he went on to Ritalin to get him through the hard theoretical parts of school.

Daniel's doodling

He managed to get through with the help of a loyal group of friends.

A love of music started around 13, he would compile playlists for friends’ disco parties. Ahead of the game with the latest music, he was the go to DJ. Whilst he should’ve been working on his Maths, he was busy falling in love with Taylor Swift.

Horse riding, swimming, cross country, hiking were his choices of sport. We attempted cricket and some other male team sports but he stood out like a sore thumb, so we ditched them.

Horseriding in the Karoo

The older Daniel got the more we could see how he was battling with his identity. It was not our place to put any ideas into his head, Daniel had to decide who he was and when the time was right for him to do so. During high school he took up drama and in typical Daniel fashion, he dared to perform a piece from Dallas Buyers Club. It was a monologue featuring Rayon, a trans woman battling AIDS, who befriends Matthew McConaughey’s Ron Woodroof. It was fearless and powerful.

We watched spellbound, another show of Daniel’s emotional inner strength.

At 18, the day after his matric dance, Daniel announced to his family he was gay. We were waiting for that moment and we embraced it like we have with everything, big deal, we love you, it’s ok. It will be a hard road, but we’ve got your back. And we’re proud of you.

Off he went to do a year’s photography course in Cape Town, during this time he prepared his porfolio.

This was Daniel’s journey to connect with more people like him, he gained confidence in his new chosen identity knowing that there were others out there like him. He no longer felt like the outsider. He walked the streets of Cape Town, understanding its culture and reveling in the atmosphere and the gees of our Mother City. He absorbed and enjoyed meeting the ordinary South African, no matter their colour, gender or walk of life. If they accepted him and respected his choices, he valued them deeply.

Daniel’s adult life was only just beginning. His courage, sense of adventure, his independence and belief in himself propelled him to apply to study overseas. Months later he found out he had been accepted to study a BA in Photography at The Royal College of Art in The Hague.

Daniel has done many shoots and taken part in many shoots. This is one with his friend and soul sister, Mziyanda.

And now we are 5 years later, Daniel is a multi tasker. Living in Amsterdam, he is a photographer, a stylist, a producer, a DJ, a model, an artist. He is a survivor and a grafter. I have asked him to take some street style photos of interesting people in Amsterdam for my growing blog.

Welcome to the extra of my ordinary, Daniel’s life.