Oli

Oli is having a 21st birthday party, he says we’re invited.

Except we can’t stay long. We can attend pre drinks, have a boerwors roll, he says we’re welcome to give a speech, but then we must retire for the evening.

He’s referring to Greg and I and a scattering of parents.

I’ve got about 30 to 40 friends he says, no parents (changed his mind on that one), Makkers is doing the music, a friend of mine is taking the photos. He’s helped us cut costs he says. Very thoughtful of you Oli, thanks.

Oli has a way with words. He is direct veering on rudeness.

Oliver was born on 12/12/2002. We were hoping for a girl, but into the world came Oli, a healthy baby boy.

He speaks his mind, isn’t afraid to complain when things aren’t going his way, he’s dramatic and passionate. Underneath Oli’s bravado and tough exterior is a boy who loves and cares deeply.

As a little boy it was already clear he had a determination, he wanted to keep up with his brothers and was adamant he was not going to be left behind.  Climbing out of his car seat was a frequent event. If we were stuck in traffic or waiting at the robots too long, he would wriggle his way out. Just like his father, he had no patience to sit still for too long. He was that boy who fell into the pool before he’d even learnt how to swim.

Clumsiness is another trait, also inherited from Greg. He will bring you coffee whilst spilling it all the way, he’ll fall into a room or bump into you without realising it.

In Oliver’s early years we lived in Ken Rock, a paradise for children growing up. Situated in a secure estate, our house was built infront of a dam in amongst nature. The boys and their friends spent hours playing outside, catching tadpoles, dressing up, a band of bare foot children with a couple of dogs in tow. They had a freedom we all wish for growing up.

Lover of nature

In and out of neighbours’ houses they came and went, the door was open, they waltzed into each other’s houses like it was the most normal thing in the world. There were sleepovers, breakfasts, lunches. Oli was the youngest in this tight knit group of friends, he made sure it wasn’t a hinderance, he learnt quickly to hold his own and keep up.

Then off he went to Busy Bees, his first playschool. Oli made friends easily, he was happy to play with the boys as much as the girls. He alternated between running around with the boys and then playing house house with the girls. However there was only a certain amount of house house he could do, tired of rocking the baby to sleep, he would fling baby into the pushchair and run around the bike track, baby bumping along, the girls running after Oliver, this was no way to look after a baby.

Sweetie pie

He loved dress up. Greg made wooden swords and bows and arrows. Hours were spent outside with friends, imagining themselves in a Lord of the Rings world.

From Busy Bees he went to a lovely local pre primary school. As Oliver was born at the end of the year, we debated on whether to keep him in his year or to hold him back, we decided on the latter so he spent an extra year at pre primary school. This did him the world of good, by the time he left Valley he had many friends and was ready to start big school.

From a small pre primary school to big school was quite a transition, with over 100 boys in one grade, the boys were divided into 5 classes. Oli had been seperated from his friends and having been king of the castle in his previous school, he was now just another one of the crowd. He made sure I knew how hard it was for him.

Everyone disappears he would say. I go up to Matt, you wanna see my classroom? I turn around…gone. I go find Santi, you wanna see my classroom, turn around - gone. I even ask a boy I don’t even know, he’s not interested. See that bench Mommy? Yes, I say. I sat there all by myself eating lunch.

My heart would sink.

It didn’t take him long though. He settled in, made friends and never looked back. An all boys school suited Oliver perfectly. He was invariably in the thick of the banter, laughing and teasing his friends. He inherited his father’s entrepreunerial spirit, how could he make a quick buck on the side? Taking tuck shop orders from the boys and charging them a fee for queuing was a good little side hustle. In Grade 6 his team won the most money made at entrepreunerial day and later as he arrived in Grade 8, he realised he could make some money by offering to cover the boys’ hymn books at R10 a piece.

Proud moment, gentleman of the week

As the years went by, he became an avid sportsman. He was a fast runner and a passionate rugby player, his feistiness often playing out on the rugby fields. He played waterpolo and for a while he played 4th team cricket.

He loved drawing and art and had a sensitive, artistic side. He was also quick to stand up for anyone who was being unfairly treated. A couple of birthday cards were sent off to Nelson Mandela to wish him a happy birthday. At this tender age he was quick to delegate, I had a task to find out Nelson Mandela’s address, off I went to the post office, where shall I send this to I asked. Just put Nelson Mandela, Pretoria they said. Both times Oliver got a thank you message back.

His teachers described him as playful and enthusiastic, his friends said he was funny and kind.

To SACS High School he went, his blood was blue there was no doubting that. Oliver’s energy and enthusiasm continued, his competitiveness too. Life revolved around sport and the social life that came with it. He joined Nippers at Llandudno Lifesaving and moved on to become a Junior Lifesaver. Many hours were spent at the Lifesaving Club, growing up, competing, making friendships and having the odd drink or two.

Lift clubs were endless, back and forth to school, up and down for sport fixtures, neverending packed lunches. Oli learnt the gift of the gab, his charm would often pull through, other times it would get him into trouble. Nevertheless, behind the banter and slang was a quiet determination. He would make sure he would get into the 1st XV for rugby and he would nominate himself not as a prefect, no, but as a a member of the Spirit Committee. Much more fun.

Unlucky for him it came just around Covid and lockdown, such a disappointment, he never got to channel his inner rock star. I know he was looking forward to performing infront of the whole school, getting the boys hyped up to belt out some classic school chants.

Instead he played wing for the first team rugby and scored some good tries which got him into the news. Being the passionate, all or nothing kind of guy, his temper was quietly bubbling under the surface. He was quick to dive into any confrontation that was happening and stand up for the underdog.

Covid times allowed Oli to reflect and in amongst the long days of lockdown, he discovered his love of nature. Between helping his father build a deck, he started gardening and planting. He made breadboards to sell. He discovered books and reading. Good things came out of lockdown.

Morris became Oli’s best friend.

Matric exams came and went, and the results came back. Oli surprised us with an excellent English mark. A frequent use of slang and a way of talking can be misleading. Oliver loves to write too.

Being a passionate South African it came as no surprise that he didn’t want to follow his brothers and study overseas. True to those good old South African roots, he was accepted into Stellenbosch University to study Forestry and Wood Science. Not having planned for accomodation he ended up in some digs at the end of a corridor sharing with a bunch of guys. We were relieved at least he had a place to stay. In the meantime Oli had other plans for himself, where there’s a will there’s a way. Oliver ended up in Simonsberg, one of the most acclaimed halls of residence in Stellenbosch.

The best years of Oli’s life so far were just beginning. It wasn’t all fun and games, Oliver had to keep up a good set of marks to stay in res, the boys chosen to board at Simonsberg are the cream of the crop, the A graders. Oliver knew he had to keep up academically, be involved in all aspects of student life and make a contribution and an impact in his own way.

He put those woodworking skills to practice once again. Making bunk beds for the boys in res, we held our breath, how nobody rolled off them and fell on their heads we don’t know. He wrote articles for the Simonsberg magazine.

So here we are, tonight celebrating Oliver’s 21st. He is a happy boy, for that we are thankful, he is healthy and he has high ambitions for himself. He has a lovely girlfriend Liv who keeps him on the straight and narrow. The future is bright.

Just remember as you go out into the world Oli. Be proud of where you come from, be respectful, stay grounded in the values we have taught you, be professional at all times, be kind, look out for your family and friends. Smile. Find humour, it will get you through the tough times.

We love you.

Carpenter, woodworker